This newsletter is an extension of the 2022 Summer Album Guide, and will evolve to include writing about the community, the city and the world in areas other than hot vinyl and vital music. But for now consider it a gesture to continue the art of the album review, forever disappearing from our print newspapers. - Dave Bidini
Bahamas
Bootcut
Friend One: Pass the mustard
Friend Two: It’s good mustard.
Friend One: I don’t need an Op Ed on the mustard. Just pass it.
F1: Go ahead and close your mind to anyone else’s opinion.
F2: We’re talking a condiment here. You either use it or you don’t.
F1: Are you suggesting there’s no such thing as good vs not-good mustard?
F2: I’m suggesting these ribs aren’t gonna get the mustard themselves.
F1: They’re a goddamned delight. Well done, Tony Roma.
F2: The quarterback?
F1: No, the Italian rib guy. Etobicoke, I think. All the Italians used to come from there.
Friend Three: Actually, they came from Italy.
F1: You know what I mean. Anyhow. You’ve outdone yourself.
F2: A toast to the chef! Or at least to the guy who put the meat in his four hundred dollar smoker then went to WalMart.
F3: Hey, BBQ is an attitude. You either have it or you don’t.
F1: Speaking of attitude, have you guys heard tracks from the new Bahamas record?
F2: I have not.
F1: It’s good.
F3: Define ‘good.’
F1: I enjoy it. You’re not going to get me to define ‘enjoy’ are you?
F3: I reserve the right. Besides, I’m not sure I believe you.
F1: How’s that?
F3: It’s a country record, right?
F1: Ya. I mean, there’s a picture on the cover of a guy and a gal in denim and cowboy hats, snogging.
F2: You can’t do that in a small town.
F3: You can’t do what?
F2: Snog. At least it sounds dirty.
F1: The Brits inventing snogging. I mean, really, how dirty can it be? It’s not like the French invented it.
F3: Again, this is a country record. Am I wrong?
F1: It is, but it sounds like Afie.
F3: I have the feeling that he’s hiding.
F1: From, like, the cops? A ghost? The IRS?
F3: No, I mean, I’d just like a little bit more blood on the floor. Something more real.
F1: Says the guy chewing on a brontosaurus leg.
F3: He just seems like he’s... pretending.
F2: A lot of the great pretenders pretend. There’s even a song called that.
F1: I think that’s exactly what Afie wants you to think. I also don’t think he really cares.
F3: Right. But I like musicians who make me want to care.
F1: Not everything has to be like that.
F3: Besides, making an ironic country record in 2023 seems kind of tone deaf. The sound of the alt right and all of that.
F2: Well, he does live in Barrie.
F1: Everyone who lives in Barrie is from Toronto. To me, if the songs are good it doesn’t matter. Garth Brooks had some bangers.
F3: And some man boobs, but never mind.
F1: Pot meets kettle.
F3: Get bent.
F2: The songs are good?
F1: They are! I like them. Especially “I’m Still” and “Working on my Guitar.” I mean, it’s Afie. You know the playing is gonna be choice.
F3: Pfffft.
F1: Did you just ‘Pfffft’?
F3: I did. Pfffting is the new Tsking. It’s my way of expressing mild disdain, moderate outrage.
F1: You might want to hear the whole record before you Pffft or Tssk or whatever other mouth sounds you might want to produce.
F3: Here’s another: pass the mustard.
F1: It’s good mustard!
F3: You impress easily. One needs to demand greatness from their mustard. Like, um, my ribs.
F2: I was under the impression that ‘Good is the new great.’ I saw that spray painted on a wall somewhere.
F1: You make an excellent point. What’s wrong with just being good, Romo?
F3: Oh Lord, we’re all doomed.
Pre-order and listen to Bahama’s new record HERE
Thank you to Great Lakes Brewing for being generous sponsors of all things WEP, including the newsletter you just read!
For more on Great Lakes Brewery, check their website HERE